We all know exactly what having a bad relationship can do to our lives. Most of us have actually lived it. The lack of self esteem, the general feeling of being inadequate, the constant fighting over who left the lid off the toothpaste. All the little things that never seem to end up with the two of you laughing. It can get to the point where you start to think that all relationships need to be that hard. That is not the case at all.
Every relationship starts with that insane phase, where the two of you just can’t get enough of each other. That does always seem to go away, but what should replace it is a deeper understanding of the person you’re with.What sometimes happens though, is people get too comfortable with each other. They settle into routines and forget that getting to know your partner is something that never stops. This means taking time together to do things other than just watching TV.
Once that early romantic stage is done, you need to remember the promises you made under that haze of happy chemicals. We often promise to never lie, and to make sure that the other person is taken care of, but quickly forget. Promises like that are actually extremely important to keep, especially the one with honesty.
The healthy relationships that I have seen, all include honesty. Now, you’re probably saying, that everyone lies right? Well, sure, but things can get messy if you don’t know when to start. Here’s some hints, if it isn’t going to add to the situation, and it isn’t making you uncomfortable then you probably don’t need to say it. You don’t like the shirt but they do? Say you like the shirt. You need to go to a party, but you’re not feeling well, or are just not up to it? Say you aren’t up to it. If your partner says they aren’t up for something, take that seriously as well. Talk about it. See what the problem is. Maybe this time you go by yourself, or you go for a short period, or you decide to not go at all.
You or your partner shouldn’t be feeling uncomfortable without the other one knowing it. If you are, then it’s going to lead to resentment. How many times have you seen people say to each other that everything is fine, when really neither one of them is happy? This usually happens when there is no discussion about day to day events going on. If you’re unhappy in a relationship, you’re going to be unhappy period.
Talk with your partner about your feelings. Sit down with them at the end of the day and discuss how the day went. Even if it’s just for ten minutes so that the two of you can reconnect.
Do things together that the two of you enjoy. If the two of you are enjoying certain events, then the bond between the two of you will grow. Happiness breeds happiness. Now the key here is to do something that the both of you enjoy. It’s extremely important to share things that you like doing. To have hobbies that both of you love. Even if it’s movies or TV. If it’s movies or TV, you’ll likely find that you spend just as much time talking about whatever it was you watched, as you did watching it. If not more.
Touching also helps with the bond. It helps to release those happy chemicals. Touch each other as much as you can. Sure some people don’t like touching as much as other people do, but even sitting close to one another can create the same feeling of intimacy. You need to respect boundaries, that’s part of respecting your partner, but it also encourages you to get creative in the relationship.
If you work towards having an honest, open and intimate relationship, then you’ll find that your satisfaction with relationships will go up. When you find a loving, intimate relationship, you will find that your satisfaction with life will go up. It helps to have someone who is with you for the long run.