Making long distance relationships work is not very easy. It seems very romantic to have somebody who is in love with you overseas, but it also involves hard work and encouragement to keep it. Thus, many people give up on their long distance relationships or don’t even start it. Although absence makes heart grow fonder, most people are unable to build strong long distance relationships as it is extremely difficult to love somebody without being able to touch or see this person in real life.
There are also many advantages in long distance relationships, such as ability to remain independent having bonds with somebody. It helps to keep your relationship in a romantic stage and avoid routine boredom.
Statistics show that there are over 14 million couples who claim to be in long distance relationships, so you are not alone. Apart from that, 10% of marriages in U.S. start as a long distance relationships. This means some people actually make it work somehow. But how do they do that?
Here you can find some tips on how to keep long distance relationships regardless of any problems you may encounter:
1. Set your goal.
First and the most important advice is that long distance relationships will have to change into normal relationships and you know this. It may not be easy, but both you and your partner have to know where you are going to eventually, what you expect from your relationship and what your future plans are. It is much easier to maintain relationships if you know your purpose.
2. Communicate regularly, but avoid smothering.
Nowadays communication is much easier than in the past. You can take advantage of today’s technology to keep in touch with your partner. You can meet each other regularly on Skype and discuss what happened throughout the day. It is necessary to become genuinely interested in your partner’s life, to show your care and share emotional moments together. Make sure you know each other’s schedule in order to make calls at appropriate times. It is even better if you appoint a special time when you can chat without interruption. While it is great to talk often, too much can become overbearing. If you start texting your partner every 15 minutes, it may turn him or her off. Give each other time for yourself, so the next conversation becomes desirable and more exciting.
3. Do not lie.
Truth is an important part of any relationships, especially those which are on the distance. It is difficult to build trust with somebody who is miles away from you and whom you don’t see daily. One small lie may be taking very seriously, which is going to cause problems between you two. Try to express everything sincerely, rather than hide things from each other. Make sure your partner knows most important aspects of your life, so it does not come as a surprise when you see each other in real life.
4. Visit each other.
It is obvious that sometimes you will have to see each other and be with each other physically. Let this time together be special and romantic. Try not to discuss sensitive issues or argue over small things. Be together for special occasion like birthdays, anniversaries, marriages of your friends, even funerals to support each other on the best and the worst moments in life. It will help you to build emotional bonds and learn to rely on each other.
5. Keep yourself busy.
While you have some time apart, the best thing to do is to make time go faster. The easiest way to achieve it is to encourage yourself in different activities. Get busy with work, start doing sports or find yourself a hobby that you will enjoy. Learn something new and impress your loved one. You will have more topics for your conversations while you are apart and time will pass much faster.
6. Share common interests.
The same as in normal relationships you will have to get to know each other closely. Find out what your partner is interested in. Impress him or her by your true concern about their lives outside of ‘the relationship’. Take notes of things your partner likes the most, for example, sports or hobbies. Listen carefully when he or she talks about it and do some research. Then, the next time you talk you might have some thing relevant to add or perhaps a new shared interest.
7. Remain positive.
Have a positive outlook on your relationships. To make it work you have to truly believe that they are going to work. Discuss your worries and expectations with each other. Picture you happy future together. Read some stories on long distance relationships that worked out well and learn from it. Remember to be patient, the best things often come to those who wait.
8. Don’t listen to pessimists.
Be prepared that many of your friends and family members will not believe that your long distance relationship could possibly work. Try not to pay attention to the negative attitudes that you might encounter sharing your relationship story with others. People often have negative attitude to something that works different or that they themselves never experienced. Stick with your plan and don’t allow people to sabotage your relationship.
No matter what, remember, just because long distance relationships can be difficult to maintain, it doesn’t mean they will fail.